Vicky Shilling is co-founder of The Reset, retreats designed by women like you, for women like you. To find out more about The Reset head to www.thereset.me.
Last month I ran my first The Reset retreat for women who wanted some time, space and tools to prioritise themselves, together with co-host Lauren Healy.
Nestled in the Irish countryside, 14 women joined us at Loughcrew Estate in County Meath to unplug and reconnect with what they’d achieved in life, what their goals were for the future and how they were going to get there.
The weekend was an incredible experience and I learned so many things about myself and others that I wasn’t expecting…
1. Never underestimate the power of a group
Above and beyond anything else I took away from the weekend was how much the group of women we had brought together really learned and gained from one another.
We had spent a lot of time shaping the workshops for the weekend, considering all the questions and problems we know that women face today and how we could help them overcome their difficulties.
But what we totally underestimated was the power of the group to answer questions and give help and support to one another.
According to research  you have a 65% chance of completing a goal if you commit to someone. Sharing your goals is really important to helping you achieve them. But to go one step further if you have a specific accountability appointment with a person you’ve committed to, you will increase your chance of success by up to 95%.
When we discussed this idea with the group Lauren and I discovered we had become each other’s accountability-buddies in setting up the retreat. Each week we set tasks and then arranged a day to meet the following week to look at progress.
Having a deadline and someone to keep us accountable meant we turned our vision of running a retreat from dream into reality in less than 6 months.
Harness the power of others!
2. It can be hard to think about what you want in life
Our first workshop at The Reset is a look at where you are now in your life and a chance to decide if there are particular areas that you’d like to make changes in.
It was a real eye-opener for some of the women who joined us. When confronted with the time and space we offered a lot of them said
“I’m not sure what I want, I’ve never thought about it!”
When considering the dream scenario in a particular area of our life, there’s a careful balance to be struck between setting achievable goals and imagining futures that aren’t within our grasp. Some might argue that we should always aim for the stars and go big with our vision of what could be ahead for us. But where does that cross into delusion?
A big part of this is digging into ‘what is success to you?” It’s a question that can really help frame what you want from life to achieve fulfilment on your own terms, not someone else’s.
Goals and ambitions are only useful if they have a strong why. Why is this goal important to you? What’s at stake if you don’t achieve it?
3. It’s not all about goals and changing things
Despite all the talk of goal setting and ambitions for the future, I learned a retreat is the perfect opportunity to feel hugely proud of where you are already. In the course of a normal life we often don’t take enough moments to acknowledge what we have already achieved and how far we’ve come.
Through our workshops, the conversations with others and a particularly moving yoga session the women on our retreat came away from the weekend realising they were already enough. They didn’t have to meet any more targets, compare themselves to others or feel there was more to do in a bid to ‘have it all’.
They were already doing amazing things in their own ways on their own terms.
To find out more about The Reset go to www.thereset.me.