Mel Wells is a coach, speaker and the author of The Goddess Revolution. We caught up with Mel to find out how she came to love and accept her body after years of battling a relationship between herself and food.
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you came to love your body?
Hi! Sure. I’m Mel Wells, I’m an Author, Coach and Speaker. I help women transform the relationships they have with food and their bodies. How I came to love my body? It was a struggle but something I committed to doing every day. Loving your body is not something you just wake up and know how to do. It’s a daily practice, it’s honouring everything about the journey and the struggle, it’s finding ways to be compassionate towards your body when previously you’ve been in a battlefield.
You are a former actress and model – what impact did this have on your relationship with yourself?
In that industry, it’s every man for himself, and the truth is your appearance plays a massive part in whether you’re working or not. The measurements of my body, my size, my weight, and how I looked on camera, were the difference in me getting paid or not, getting the job or not, paying my rent or not. I definitely became a perfectionist in this and believed that the smaller I became, the more successful I would become. I got sucked into the illusion that being thinner would equal being happier, which is a huge lie. I spent a lot of years at war with my body not realising that the only way to happiness was love and joy. I thought happiness came with a number or dress size.
” I got sucked into the illusion that being thinner would equal being happier, which is a huge lie”
Why do you think so many millennials struggle with diets, food and body image?
There’s no denying there’s a huge amount of societal pressure and subliminal messaging to make us feel like we’re supposed to look, dress, and behave a certain way. But I also think the massive rise of ‘clean eating’ and huge trend of food bloggers that we’ve seen in the last few years, is also making people attach all these rules and systems to how they’re eating, and like they’ve got to eat a certain way too.
Couple those together and unfortunately that’s bad news – there is a rise in eating disorders. A lot of the pressure we put on ourselves is formulated from the illusion of perfection, and a lot of that comes from how much time we spend online comparing ourselves to others.
What are your opinions on ‘fitspiration’ and ‘clean eating’?
Fitspiration is supposed to inspire you to get fit – so if you’re following any of these pages, ask yourself if that’s what they’ve done? Have they helped you to get fit? If all they’ve done is made you feel bad about your own body, or fitness, or feeling like you’ll never be good enough – I don’t see that as a positive influence on your life. I think we should be following what motivates us, yes, but out of love and respect for ourselves, not born out of a feeling of punishment and resentment for our own bodies.
What role does social media play in a lack of self-love and body confidence?
Honestly? I think it depends on who you follow. I encourage my Goddesses to go through their social media and unfollow any accounts that they know are making them love themselves less. This might be a before and afters account, a fitspiration account, or a model or blogger that they continue to compare themselves to. (Compare and despair!) On the other hand – there are TONS of great Instagram accounts out there now promoting self love, body positivity and body confidence! Social media is not going away any time soon so my advice would be – It’s all about following the right pages – you can infuse your social channels with positivity! Just like you choose friends who bring joy and light to your life – do the same with your online friends.
“infuse your social channels with positivity!”
What inspired you to write your book ‘The Goddess Revolution’?
The Goddess Revolution was inspired by my own journey to making peace with food and my body after a long 7 year battle (or should I say WAR!) on my body and with food. I struggled so much with bulimia and binge eating, and then became obsessed with clean eating and over exercising. I truly have been through the ringers with food. Two massive life changing events happening in my life – losing my Dad suddenly to cancer, and beginning trying for a baby with my now ex partner – those were the two things that shifted me into a new perspective and made me view my body and my health differently. From then I began my healing journey – it was rocky at first but became something so incredibly beautiful – and this book shares everything I learned along the way – and how I have helped hundreds of other women from all walks of life address their relationship with food and their bodies too. The book also features a selection of stories from the Goddesses I’ve worked with inside my Academy.
Where did the inspiration for the title come from?
Goddess because all women are born Goddesses! But when we declare war on our bodies and food, we feel anything but. Or we think we will become goddesses when we’ve changed our bodies first. All women deserve to feel like Goddesses now – not 10lbs from now. Revolution because that is exactly what this is! A revolutionary new way to approach food and your body – coming from love and respect – not control and punishment.
Why is it so important to spend time by yourself?
How will we ever learn to love ourselves if we aren’t capable of BEING by ourselves? Time alone is time spent nurturing the most important relationship of our lives – the one we have with US.
What is your biggest piece of advice to women struggling to find happiness?
Bring more JOY into everything you do in life. What are you doing just for fun, or don’t you have any fun in your life? We generate our own energy – it’s up to us to bring the joy to our lives. We have to start taking responsibility for our own happiness. It’s down to us!
“Bring more JOY into everything you do in life.”
Do you have a favourite quote or mantra you live by?
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for!
Meaning – stop waiting for some one, some thing to come save you – YOU are the one here to do that! You are the one here to be your own hero – get to it!
Why did you decide to travel the world to spread your message?
I love travelling – it’s just ingrained in who I am. And there are women all over the world who need this message, so I’m gonna get it to them any which way I can!
Why do you think it is important to involve people in challenges focusing on self-love and self-care?
It’s important to make these things COMMON PRACTICE so it becomes default for women everywhere. It shouldn’t feel like an alien thing to start taking care of oneself. It should be a very natural habit.
How can people stay true to your message even when things are not necessarily ok?
My message is not about pretending everything is ok – my message is about practising self compassion, self awareness, and always supporting yourself through the good, the bad and the ugly. Have your own back – support yourself no matter what – and things will never be that bad. Be your own cheerleader, be your own hero. That is what this is about – empowering you to take your power back not just around food and your body – but of your whole life.
The Goddess Revolution, £9.89, Mel Wells, Hay House UK